Dear Journal,
I see Buro hurt by our childhood and that pains me. I have always thought that I have it together better than him, and he feels the same way about himself.
Today, as he was fighting with Ma he brought up an incident when Ma fed him vomit when he was very small. She may have. That is how she was with us. Ma was very very depressed as we were growing up. So was Baba.
The lesson to learn from all this is that it's important to find a way to forgive, and not let the mind be clouded with negativity.
I've been hurt by my family physically and emotionally in many ways.
People make mistakes. We all do.
The bright side is that despite everything we were loved. Well, being called kootsheet and tada still hurts though. Being betrayed by my father several times has created a heavy pain that doesn't ease. Therapy is balderdash. The therapy is within.
Life is many shades of grey? Or a rainbow?
I am grateful for Ma and baba's good health, and baba's recovery.
I'm grateful for my brother's love.
I am grateful for my happy home.
I'm grateful that I have full meals everyday.
I am grateful to have a job I enjoy.
I am grateful for the Dalai Lama's influence on my life.
I am grateful for the book idea that has been running through my brain.
I am grateful for Suchandro.
Love,
Me
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