Dear Journal,
I have so many repressed emotions that have never been addressed. All I have grown up seeing around me are people shouting and never really having a conversation. Baba never has a conversation. Either he has nothing to say or is judgmental.
If you tell Ma anything she becomes as quiet as turtle and Baba invariably starts shouting at me.
I need space. I need to move out. But the comfort of your parent's home is something else.
Ma and Baba have never really had a conversation about the issues we have. They become so defensive. We come from an emotionally weak family, and therapists are of no use. Dr. Karthik Rao is just a perverted prick. I hate him.
This reminds me of the Robert Redford movie Ordinary People. Had a tough time remembering the name. My life seems like that. I've never ever had a single person in my life apart from Dimma who fully supported me. That's a gem to have. That's why I miss her every day. There's not one thing I've ever resented about her. My old friends apart from Qud and Maddy have changed. We don't talk that much.
I love Qudsiya. I truly do. I'm always going to support her and her family one hundred per cent. And it's Friendship Day. Or is it? Nobody sent me a message.
All this writing makes me think it's so valuable to have people in your life who fully support you. If I ever find a man in my life who loves me so much that he accepts me the way I am, I'll never let him go. Don't want another emotionally manipulating Rohan Kotian, who didn't like the fact that i read books, or the depraved Bhabesh Sharma or the depressed and disrespectful Guru.
I am grateful for my home.
I'm grateful for Buro's subscription to Netflix.
I'm grateful for my parents.
I'm grateful for Buro.
I'm grateful for my grey matter.
I'm grateful for my health.
I'm grateful for my common sense.
I'm grateful for the food I eat.
I really hope Baba makes a full recovery. Many kisses to him.
Ma is busy chanting her troubles away. Love her.
Love,
Me.
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