Dear Journal,
I feel really bad that Ma and Pa didn't let me study at St Stephens (any other father from our kind of background would've been elated), or let me study a subject of my choice, or let me drive or pursue acting when I was young.
It's exasperating talking to Pipi and Abhikaku. They are so small minded. Pa being their brother is no different. They are defeatist and fearful. There is a part of me that hates Pa's side of the family. They are traditional and uber conservative. Rich but uneducated. They are fairly unintelligent and stupid. There is a meet on the 4th, and even if my family goes I'm not going. I hate them. Pipi and Abhikaku have never done anything for me, and least for Buro.
Mashi on the other hand buys whatever her children want. When I was small I really wanted a pair of boots that Ma refused to buy me. Just got one today for myself after seeing Koena's black boots. Mine are brown.
Never will I ever depend upon anybody. Ma and Pa and Buro have hurt me so many times. Physically and emotionally, and continue to do so.
Dadu was also very conservative.
I miss Dimma.
Mashi also has been often unkind. When I was little she often said I have no talent in art. She always favoured Buro and spoils her children to the hilt.
May be I am ugly or unloveable that people always favour Buro, including Ma and Pa. May be my lazy eyes cause people like Mashi and Dadu to not love me.
May I never discriminate.
Love,
Me.
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