Dear Journal,
All these feelings brewing up again within me over past trauma caused me to scream at Ma and Pa, who both called me as having become unwell again.
That infuriated me further. Wasn't Ma unwell when she thrashed both Buro and me when we were toddlers? Wasn't Baba unwell when he allowed himself to get brainwashed by the tantrik for ten years? Aren't they unwell now that they are brainwashed by Ikeda's gimmicks?
I'm so emotionally pained. Me expressing any pain or hurt is seen as me being unwell. I have nobody to talk to. Nobody loves me for who I am. Nobody has ever accepted me just the way I am. I've never experienced unconditional love and support.
May I be the unconditional love and support to all that which I so seek.
Will I always be this lonely?
Are there any friends?
Love,
Me.
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