Dear Journal,
Knowing myself, in social situations people tend to feel something but speak something else. Those who mostly speak their hearts are considered immature. This journal is my immature self.
Why do we lack transparency and honesty? For one the fear of being judged; we all judge and are hence socially anxious. This is what I realised today as I got through the day, mostly feeling irritable. I worked and wrote and smoked. I went to Cwc and bought clothes for Bu and Sadhya in the morning. Buo borrowed a hefty sum of money that I was happy to lend him. This just means I have to curb my spending. Lost my temper with Ma again. I penned three ideas that I intend to novelise by August 2024-- my biggest dream.
I am so looking forward to teaching Shilpa on Saturday and every Saturday till she speaks fluent English.
Tomorrow for the first time I meet someone from Communicate India physically-- my boss Natasha. I hope to have good conversations and laughs with her. Let's see how it goes. As I seek to shed my social anxiety and introspected on that today, I feel calm about tomorrow's meeting.
Will quit the butt, I will.
I am grateful for my Macbook a special gift from Ma.
I am grateful for my phone and wifi.
I am grateful for my parents and brother.
I am grateful for Raksha Bandhan, a day I get to celebrate Bu.
I am grateful to write.
Love,
Me.
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