Dear Journal,
I just had a rage meltdown. I shouted at Pa for the same old things. He says he has no future. That makes me even more angry. He's never had a future. He's never been progressive and forward-thinking.
I shouted at the maid for lying that she cleaned my room. For lying that she knocked on my door, and that she told me she's leaving yesterday.
Buro told me I'm immature.
I'm feeling so miserable. When will I heal?
When will I be able to make sense of everything? When will wisdom and forgiveness dawn? I want to forgive. Sometimes I get impatient about it. I really want to feel the pain easing. I've experienced forgiveness in certain aspects. It's totally worth it. I have to be able to forgive myself.
I'm blamed for everything. I have nobody, nobody really who understands me and loves me for who I am.
The maid has left without doing my room. I hate this maid. She's such a wimp. I think she may also be conniving.
Love,
Me.
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